Dating can be nerve-wracking, but project the right amount of confidence and you will put yourself, and your dating partner, at ease. This is easier said than done, however, there are some tried and tested methods of dating with confidence.
DO: wear clothes you have felt confident in before
While it may be tempting to buy a whole new set of clothes to impress a new dating partner, our favourite clothes really can have a magic affect, making us feel relaxed and confident, instantly. It’s always important to wear clothes which are appropriate for the occasion but, whenever possible, choose clothes which you know make you feel good about yourself. Most of us have a favourite top, dress or suit which never fails to put us in a good mood.
One of the main indicators that someone is nervous is if they constantly fidget. Repeated adjustments of clothing or tearing up a napkin into smaller and smaller pieces are two examples of how your hand movements can betray your nerves when dating. To prevent your hands from showing your anxieties, clasp them together or keep them out of sight.
DO: look into their eyes (but not all the time)
Eye contact is crucial when dating. It shows you are comfortable with your date and interested in them and what they have to say. Lack of eye contact will either come across as rude or imply that you are intimidated by them. Keep eye contact while either of you are talking, but be careful, an uninterrupted gaze can come across as creepy, so it is important to look away from time to time, as well..
DON’T: slump in your seat
Your posture will play a large part in how your dating partner perceives you. If you slump forward in your seat, or (if you are upright) walk or stand hunched, looking constantly at the floor, you will not just appear unconfident, but inevitably feel it, too. Practice keeping good posture when sitting and standing. One way to do this is to count the chimneys as you walk down the street – just make sure you don’t trip over while you do it!
DO: stand by your opinions
An unconfident person will immediately crumble when their thoughts or opinions are challenged. When the person you are dating questions of queries your ideas, acknowledge their point of view but try not to relinquish your opinion straight away. You may want to please your date, but what they probably want is some sort of discussion, as opposed to you instantly backing down and agreeing with their argument.
DON’T: talk at warp speed
Nervous people tend to speak very quickly and often don’t even realise they’re doing it. This can create an uptight feeling to the date, so you may need to consciously slow yourself down. Talking fast may also give no opportunity for your date to get a word in. Slow down and don’t worry about allowing a silence from time to time, silences are not always awkward and can allow your dating partner to gather their thoughts.
DO: Wear a smile
One of the clearest indicators of confidence is smiling, and this will also put your date at ease. Make sure you greet your dating partner with a big smile, and respond to them with a smile whenever possible.
— Emily Heart